So Caleb doesn’t want me to share about him on Facebook, I don’t get to flex when he excels in sports, but I did sneak him into a recent post with his 8th-grade picture-comparing it with his brother’s last school picture.

But I want to write about him- cuz he’s just that cool.  Let me tell you about him:

Caleb is an athlete, a good friend, a good student (school comes pretty easy for him), he’s in band, and he’s a good kid- besides an arguing nature (that I believe came from me). Caleb asked Jesus into his heart when we were receiving communion one Sunday- he would have been around 7/8 years old.  He wanted to know why we were taking the bread and the cup.  I was able to explain to him right then about what Jesus did for us, and how we do this to remember.  I asked him if he wanted to ask Jesus into his heart and he said yes- we prayed together right then.  Now, when we have communion, I lean over and remind him- asking him if he remembers.  He does.  While Caleb is not as expressive vocally about his relationship with Jesus as Tripp was, he desires this.

Caleb is part of FCA this year, and in a meeting last night, they were studying James.  On the way home Caleb said that Tripp was a doer.  (not just hearer of the Word).  I asked him to clarify that.  Caleb:  “He told everyone about Jesus”  I reminded Caleb that just because I don’t write about him (because he didn’t want me to- I said I just store those things in my heart) that he is a doer too- just in a different way than Tripp. He is kind, he’s not really selfish, or spoiled (thank goodness) and he thinks of others.  Much of what Tripp did was just love people, and then share why he could put a smile on his face through his journey- Jesus.  Caleb desires to be more of a doer though he said, and my heart swelled- reminding him that in order to be a doer, you have to learn to be like Jesus- to study Him- so we will do that together.

Speaking of basketball practice in the morning, he started getting ready two weeks before basketball started, teaching himself how to get up with an alarm.  So proud of him!  (here’s my flex- his coach said he has talent and that he should keep playing basketball)   In a conversation on the way back to our house after basketball practice so he could shower, I was telling him where I had to be that day.  I had the opportunity to speak at the local Christian school.  He asked some questions like, “Do they have math there” to which I rolled my eyes and said “Yes, of course they have math there- the only difference is that they have Bible class”  Caleb:  “I want Bible Class!”  I reminded him that he has FCA and can study his Bible anytime he wants to. 

Caleb loves to worship.  He loves singing at events like Middle School Retreat, surrounded by his friends, praising God.  He likes to sing in church as well, and his voice is just starting to come back to being in tune, it’s been a while 😊…  We often hear him singing with the radio and although the movies I pick often make him tear up (he and Dad often complain of this), he loves to watch edifying/fulfilling movies, such as The Chosen and the Wingfeather Series.  Caleb understands what he reads and studies in the Bible, and he’s able to connect it to his faith, which shows that his belief in Jesus is real!  He has to find his own way yet to study habits- how he wants to grow that faith.

Caleb is also empathic, he wants to know when something is bothering us, he reminds us that “you’re a survivor”.  He has a huge heart that sometimes just needs the quiet- he is an introverted extrovert.  He soaks up information and facts like nobody’s business and is a fast learner.  Someday I think he’ll be an excellent sportscaster!  He often prays for his friends to make good choices, he himself taking Snapchat off his phone. 

I’m proud of Caleb- of who he is and who God is molding him to be.  I want to encourage him with these words, “This is the Way- walk in it”. 

Love you Calubbers!

Mom

(as originally posted in the Edgerton Enterprise, April 5, 2023)

Tripp David Postmus was a healthy, happy, love-giving, 9 year old when he began having headaches.  After one major headache, and the anxiety of Chad having an aunt who had a brain tumor, we brought Tripp to the doctor.  The doctor determined that Tripp was seeing double and arranged for an appointment with his eye doctor later that day.  Three days later, the MRI would confirm the doctor’s theories, Tripp had a brain tumor, the size of a tennis ball in his brain, the 4^th ventricle.  When we received the call, the doctor asked how Tripp was doing.  We responded, riding his rip stick and shooting basketballs…  Yup- he was incredible.

I remember telling the surgeon that night, “Don’t wreck him”. I can’t imagine the emotions a surgeon feels going into the brain surgery of a child- knowing that they will mostly likely come out changed in some way.  Tripp changed, his physical ability changed.  He had to relearn how to walk and talk again, but what never went away was his desire to love- love those around him, and his love for Jesus was already obvious.

When Tripp was 8, we watched a movie, “Ring the Bell”.  When someone gave their life to Jesus, they rang a bell.  Tripp asked that night to metaphorically ring the bell and I will never forget being able to pray with my child as he asked Jesus into his heart!  Tripp rang many bells on his 5 year fight against Medulloblastoma, but none as important as this one.  When he publicly professed his faith when he was 12, we once again (thanks to his mentor- Don) rang bells.  Cancer did not win.

Tripp’s journey through cancer brought him many places.  We were originally treated in Sioux Falls at Sanford Children’s Hospital, then we progressed to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN for proton radiation and to begin his chemotherapy regimen.  After relapse, we went back to Mayo Clinic to begin what could only be treatment via trials.  We eventually progressed to St. Jude Hospital in Memphis, TN, and finally, Texas Children’s Medical Center in Houston.  When the decision was made, ultimately by Tripp, to keep fighting and try another trial, Tripp would make the comment, “I get to tell more people about Jesus”.  He loved people, and he loved telling them about his Jesus.

Up until Tripp’s last month, he bounced back from every treatment, every surgery, every trial like a champ!  He was strong.  Tripp was given a plaque in his initial hospital stay that reminded him to “Be Bold and Courageous” Joshua 1:9, and he took that to heart.  It was a very rare thing to hear him complain, to be frustrated or to say, “This Sucks” (March 2022).  He took his treatments in stride, trusting his parents to make decisions for him until he could, and trusted his Jesus’ promise that one day he would get to go to heaven.  Cancer did not win.

In September 2021, Tripp was told that he had 8-12 months yet to live, if he chose to not do treatment.  He seriously contemplated what to do, but ultimately made the decision to try one more trial, the CAR-T Cells in Houston.  This was his only option at beating cancer- and he decided to take it.  He brought joy to the BMT Floor- sharing “I Love Your Face” with whomever entered his room. What they have learned from Tripp in this trial is now successfully being used for other children- to God be the glory!

March 16, Tripp and his friend, Pastor Chris, chatted in a recorded video.  This priceless treasure documented Tripp’s love for other people, and in response to the question about one thing he’d like others to know about God, “If you’re needing a friend, God’s the perfect one, for a friend.” 

On March 21,2022, we had the heart wrenching task of telling Tripp that the doctors did not have any more options for him- that he would not be on this world very much longer.  Tripp’s excited response?  “I get to see God?!”  and often rubbed it into us that he got to go to heaven first.  Cancer did not win.

Tripp’s positive attitude, his love for those around him, and concern for his friends to love Jesus too, radiated out of him.  As my friend Maria, (yes, another Maria 😊) said, “All you need is 5 minutes with this kid- and you get it).  Tripp was a gift to this world and to the world around him. Tripp’s friends coined the phrase, “#Be Like Tripp” so we added, “Because he loved like Jesus” to clarify.  Caleb came up with his own in reference to his brother, “Be Strong and Courageous and let your smile be Contagious”.  Tripper’s smile was just that, contagious.  Cancer did not win.

Tripp breathed his last at home on April 9, 2022.  He was considered a Survivor- 5 years and 7 days from diagnosis.  And he was- cancer did not win.  As we, his family, had to say goodbye, we are now processing what it means to grieve, and to continue telling Tripp’s legacy, to continue where he left off- telling people about Jesus.  Our theme for youth group this year, which I have the honor of leading, is Apologetics- the study of Proof of God, Jesus, the Bible and all that is part of the Christian faith.  This has been a blessing for us as grieving parents, brother, to understand and know the ‘facts’ when our grief threatens to overwhelm us.  God is the same, yesterday and forever- and He will overcome.  One day, we will get to worship Jesus, hand in hand with Tripp.

This past weekend, March 17-19, as we anxiously look ahead to missing Tripp for an entire year, our family retreated to Healing Hope Ministries, to be refreshed, to affirm that we were on the same page in our grief.  We learned to lean into our grief- to face it head on, and to never stop talking about Tripp- even when it’s awkward- until it’s not awkward.  As many Tripper’ism’s we get to share, his quirky one-liners, and stories of God’s goodness- we will never, not have anything to say😊.

Overwhelmed. Was a word that surrounded those first six months after diagnosis.  We are ever constantly overwhelmed by the love we were shown than and even still- love that made this journey possible- to keep the faith, and trusting that God was in control. Cancer did not win.

Often when I think about telling someone about Jesus, I feel I have to be prepared for them questioning why God would take Tripp, why would they believe in God if He didn’t answer prayers to heal him?  Truth be told, I ask this question!  Then during the River (a worship night at our church), I heard God say to me in response to the question of why did Tripp have to go to heaven: ‘so that you would ask that question’.  I was reminded that God doesn’t just want our thoughts and words when things are going great, and not that he is desperate, but He will take communication from us, even if its us just asking ‘why’.  Guess what, you’re still talking to God😊  You’re still acknowledging that He is there! And He is still listening- He’s not going anywhere.  When we are asking God questions, we are admitting that we don’t know everything, and then we seek answers.  And it’s in seeking the answers, through the waves of grief, that we learn more about Who He is, and What He desires from us. 

“He does all of this with your redemptive good in mind” – PDT. 

I often get mad at God for taking Tripp, especially when I’m tired, I’m being selfish, and I just plain miss him.  I miss his adventurous spirit- always up for something else.  I miss his laugh, his hugs, his love, his gentleness, and how he sought joy.  When I get mad, I cry and ask God why.  When I’ve calmed, I start seeking the why, through Scripture, encouragement from others, remind myself that Tripp’s the lucky one being in heaven, and I know peace.  My desire for others to know this peace brings me to a place of boldness, asking others if they know Jesus, or have a personal relationship with Him.  As a mother, I could not fathom not knowing where my son is- I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else. 

One of Tripp’s greatest desires was for his friends to know and love Jesus- I’ll carry on this mission as long as God allows!

It is a hard place to be though, thinking that because of my son’s journey to heaven, God did this so that my faith would grow- that everyone who knew him would know growth in their faith.  It’s this thought of ‘sacrificing’ or giving up my son so that others would know Jesus.  I hate this thought, that it had to be through so much pain.  I hate the thought that I have to live this life without my son.  I hate the thought that Caleb has to grow up an only child, that we are now a family of 3.  I hate the thought that we are not paired up on a roller coaster (yes, that is actually something I dreamed about when I was little). 

But then I stop and think about it,  Tripp already reached his goal- a goal he pressed on to- and now it’s time for others to reach the Goal. I love the thought just as his body helped in research for Childhood Cancer, that his life would bring others to that goal. It is so hard to think of heaven from our earthly perspective.  When we grieve and miss someone who we know is there, we are the only ones feeling the pain- he’s not! 

He’s rejoicing at His Saviors feet, singing

“HOLY HOLY HOLY IS THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!”

Heaven is our goal- Tripp just got there first.  It is a celebration!  In grief sometimes its hard to understand and remember that, but that’s why it’s so important to have that relationship with God before something like this happens.  Learn how to have a conversation with God so that when a trial comes in your life, you can yell and God and know He hears you- and loves you.  Keep asking the questions about God- and “when you seek Him with all of your heart- you will find Him” Jeremiah 29:12

In the current sermon series on the Armor of God at our church, we have been learning about the tools that we, as Christ followers, are equipped with, and what we are supposed to do with them. We’ve learned about the Belt of Truth- the value of truth and how we can resist the devils schemes by knowing that he is wrong.  We’ve learned about the Breastplate of righteousness and to put on holiness so that our weak spots are covered, and the Sandals of Peace with which we can hold our ground- having peace regarding what Jesus has done, and striving to make peace around us.  We’ve learned about our Shield of Faith where when we can deflect the arrows that Satan throws at us, but also that when we stand together in our shell, the devil has an even greater chance of losing.  We learned about the Helmet of Salvation- how when we protect our mind, we know Whose we are, we can face tomorrow and our future knowing God’s got it.  And to learn and be reminded of what God has done and trust that He will always provide- how we know what he’s done, so we can trust what He’s doing, we have the Sword- the Word of God. At the end of each service, we have been singing this song,  You’ve Already Won, by Shane and Shane.

As I reflect on this song that is playing through my head constantly, I wonder what life would look like if we lived like we “know how the story ends”:

What would this look like?

We would get excited about Jesus’s Story and read It!

We would seek right living so that the devil can’t get a foothold.

We would recognize that we are not fighting each other but the evil one who seeks to destroy us.

We would not dread tomorrow, our jobs, school, housework, or any other task because they would have purpose.

We would not have anxiety about the future.

We would know for a fact Whose we are.

We would know where to look/go/eat/drink/read/binge when the storms of life are too much.

We would not be worried about how we look/sound when we are speaking the name of Jesus

We would have confidence that God’s plan is good, and seek to know how we can walk in it.

We would not have fear that we would die, because we know where we are going.

We would respect all life and live life to the fullest because life and death are not ours to determine.

We would love because we fully know the love He has for us.

We would not ever get “to much Jesus” and strive for more!

We would change our conversations from malicious gossip to speaking about what God is doing in our lives-to tell our story and share Him.

We would save marriages and protect families.

We would trust that what God is doing is good, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

We would live every day as if it was the day Jesus was coming again.

We would eagerly look forward to heaven and share it with everyone!

Not under our own strength, but overcome through God’s strength in us.

When I think about the battle that is going on for my heart and mind, the battle of life in grief and the doubt that comes with it, I am reminded through this song (written for the people of Ukraine) that it’s His Story and I do know how it ends!

There’s peace that outlasts darkness
Hope thats in the blood
There’s future grace thats mine today
That Jesus Christ has won
So I can face tomorrow
For tomorrow’s in Your hands
All I need you will provide
Just like you always have

I’m fighting a battle
That you’ve already won
No matter what comes my way
I will overcome
I don’t know what your doing
But I know what you’ve done
I’m fighting a battle that
You’ve already won

There’s mercy in the waiting
Mana for today
And when it’s gone I know you’re not
You are my hope and stay
When the sea is raging
Your Spirt is my help
He’ll fix my eyes on Jesus Christ
And I’ll say that is well
Oh I know that it is well

I know how the story ends
We will be with you again
You’re my Savior my defense
No More fear in life or death
I know how this story ends

These are words we shared with others struggling with finding Joy in this Season, also a season of loss for us. Tripp passed away on April 9, 2022 after a courageous 5 year fight with brain cancer:

Chad: Over the course of the last five years, God has given Maria and I theme words at different points of Tripp’s journey: when he was diagnosed it was Faith; faith to not be afraid to face this trial,with the belief that it will produce fruit when given to God. Year two started with a sermon series on hope.  Hope that does not wavier when we don’t get the results that we were “hoping” for.  Hope that bravely carries on in the midst of chaotic storms- giving glory to God along the way. Which is the Greek word Hupomone and what Paul talks about in his letter to the Corinthians when running a race with perseverance.  The last year of Tripp’s journey God showed us the word LOVE. As our family was split between hospital and home, celebrating we got soak each other up enjoying those Tripper hugs and his lame jokes. Hearing stories of how Tripp loved so well.  Which brings us to 2022. After saying “See you later”, to our son this past April and walking with him all the way to Jesus’ feet, our word in this empty season is Trust.  Its all we have left.  Trust that Gods not done with Tripp’s story. Trust that it wasn’t all for nothing. Trust that God is walking with us in the middle of our sorrow and that we can still find joy in the absence of those wonderful lame jokes. Trusting that God is good, that we don’t dig in and make camp the valley of the shadow of death but that Jesus will surely walk us through as in Psalm 23.

Maria:When we sat down with the family to tell Tripp that the doctors couldn’t do anymore for him, Tripp’s response was, “I get to see God?” with a voice of anticipation.   We wept with joy and sorrow.  We knew in our hearts that we had done what God had asked of us as Christian Parents- to walk our child to Jesus. However, this doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, the pain of losing a child is something that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies. (Here’s to hoping I don’t have enemies😉) 

Yes, the Thanksgiving and Christmas season has exemplified these emotions tremendously.  The empty chair at the table, the empty seat in the car,  Caleb being the only grandchild now on one side of the family, not buying presents for Tripp – although Caleb is sure making out pretty good…😊.  There is also the hesitancy at your Christmas parties to talk about the one that you lost- not knowing how others are going to react.  They expect you to be the same person, but you are not- you’ve changed and you don’t know how to explain it- and they don’t get it so they tiptoe around it. Its Awkward- but don’t stop talking about the ones we’ve lost, or how God is using their story!  All we can do is pray it gets easier and grieve in the waves that come.

Often times, Christians live with the expectation, “ that because we know where our loved one is, that we are supposed to be able to move on quicker, to not have to grieve as much”.  So often we receive the awkward greeting of, “At least you know where he is” in a tone of – move on.  Grief comes because of the loss of love- and because of great love- grief is stronger.  When you lose your child, or someone else close to you, you don’t stop thinking about them- they are not forever out of your lives- you have memories.  Yes, it hurts to let yourself remember those memories, but it is healing, if we remember the joy that comes with those memories. 

Memories remind us of the amazing adventures we were able to take the last 5 years.  From coast to coast, Monterey Bay Aquarium to walking on Daytona Beach.  From baseball games in Minneapolis to Boat rides in the Galveston waters.  Memories remind us of Legos, Pokemon cards and as Tripp would say, “all the people we were able to meet and tell about God”.  From “I love your Face” to “Let me tell you about my Jesus”.  Joy abounded.

Memories remind us also of what was lost.  Often we grieve more than just a death; we grieve relationships, or something we usedacould do. We grieved Tripp’s loss of physical ability as soon as he lost it- 5years before he breathed his last.  However, if we only focus on the memories of loss, our grief will last through the morning. We chose to have adventures in a wheelchair rather than none at all.   God promises that when we trust in Him and His perfect plan, “Mourning may last for  the night – but joy comes in the morning”  That’s Grace- and can only happen if we allow it- if we ask for it.  We can choose to wallow, to focus on what we’ve lost, instead of look toward what might be gained.  

When I was telling Tripp’s brother Caleb that Tripp might not be with us much longer, I asked the question, “would you want him to live like this the rest of his life?”  Caleb acknowledged that physically, Tripp would be much better off in heaven- but he didn’t want to be an only child and that we were going to miss him.  Tripp gained heaven- a place where he was free from his chemo/radiation worn body.  As much as we miss him- we celebrate that for him- trusting that God’s plan is better than ours.

So often we search for happiness, what makes us happy.  But happiness if fleeting.  When Tripp went to heaven, we did not feel happiness- we felt pain, sorrow.  But the joy was still there- joy in knowing that death is not the end- joy in knowing that someday we would see him again.  Joy is knowing that we serve a risen Savior and we do not walk our journeys of grief alone- even when happiness is hard to come by.  Joy is that note in the background that keeps us moving forward, the one that keeps us out of the pit of despair.  One of Tripp’s favorite songs on his journey was Choose Joy by For King and Country, and this as well as Sovereign over Us by Michael W Smith were promises that when we acknowledge God’s sovereignty, that we are under his control, that we can choose joy-no matter what comes our way.

It still hurts.  It’s been 8 months since we said goodbye, and it feels like yesterday sometimes.  We were once asked if we wished we didn’t believe in God so it didn’t feel like it was Him saying ‘no’ but we could adamantly say that we couldn’t imagine our lives without God in it- even if we were angry at him sometimes.  He has surrounded us with people who love us with the love of Christ, who are there for us when we just need to cry, or talk about Tripp- he has given us a place and people to love- to choose joy in the midst of such a great loss.

“To us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be upon his shoulders, and he shall be called, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace.  We can trust that this Child that we celebrate this season, this listening counselor, strong defender, gentle father, and creator of peace, has got it covered- even in the hard questioning of why, we can trust in a God like that, and find Joy.

On Sunday I heard a message about fasting- I’ve heard them many times before, and always brushed it off as something I can’t do because of my unique stomach.  I also often thought that fasting was just trying to manipulate God.  But I gave up something else this week, coffee, and anything other than water. Why?  Because my son had a life changing MRI on Thursday.

  5 days, I could make it 5 days.  I wasn’t just fasting for specific healing, I was fasting for peace in the journey.  Maybe it was because I wasn’t caffeine fueled, but most assuredly, I found that peace.  I was looking at Friday thinking, what if I mess up before then- and it was a major focus.  Then I realized that’s how I was viewing the MRI, that it was my only focus.  I found life in the present moments- we laughed, we had fun, we had a great week living in the present instead of worrying about the future.  Would my worry change anything?

No, but my prayer could.  When God calls us to fast- we are utterly relying on him to fill that void.  After Ibuprofen on the second day, God did just that.  When ever I grabbed a bottle of water I remembered why I was drinking it, and prayed- prayed for good MRI results -as any mother would do- but also for Gods will and plan for Tripps life to be played out according to Gods, not mine. 

 I felt a little like Hannah, giving her son back to God- for Him to use for her purpose.  Then God made it even sweeter with Tripps declaration to want to tell as many as he could about God in his life, however long it might be.  

So do I believe in fasting now? Absolutely!  And Tripps got two more hours of MRI…. The peace that transcends all understanding has filled my soul and I don’t know how to explain it.  If Tripps MRI comes back with a ‘no go’ report, my heart will break, I will mourn, but I will Know- this is not my will and God is doing a mighty thing, I just get the front row seat, drinking my coffee.

It is often a goal, a desire, a ‘whatever it takes’ to get home for Christmas.  To mom and dad’s house, to see the cousins, grandparents, siblings.  Or maybe it’s just a traveling nurse, excited to get back to her home (where her family is) for the holiday.  Songs promote it, advertising promotes it- especially airlines😊. 

But, what is your definition of home?  What family needs to be around to make it feel like you are truly celebrating the holiday?  Is it a location, a ritual, a tradition?   My son had to watch The Grinch Who Stole Christmas for a school project and Cindy Lo just wants everyone to be included.  The town learns that the true meaning of  Christmas is togetherness, but is it?  Thor concludes after Asgard is destroyed that “Asgard is not the place, it is where people live”.  Home is where the heart is.  Where does your heart lie?

Home.  Something Jesus did not have.  Yes, he has parents that raised him, but he roamed around, teaching, healing, he was a nomad, “no place to lay his head”.  Yet he was filled up!  He encouraged those that wanted to be his disciples to leave their homes behind them and give fully to the cause.  How many of us are willing to do that?  How many of us are willing to give up our “home for Christmas” in order to do His work? 

I was sitting here on the hospital daybed, which my back is revolting against, thinking about home.  Wishing I could be at a typical holiday party stuffing my face with all these new boards full of amazing assortments.  The Christmas cookies.  Yes, my figure is probably grateful, but I miss it.  But I also know that my place right now is here.  That Christmas is a day that we celebrate more than just family being together, but the birth of a Savior.  A Savior who is our whole reason for living.  We don’t know if the four of us, Chad, Tripp, Caleb, and I will be able to spend Christmas together, but what we do know is that we are currently celebrating life, opportunities for life.  A day is a day- but the opportunity to do the work of the Lord is so much more important. 

So you say, how is sitting in the hospital doing the work of the Lord?  And you are right to ask!  Because when a nurse walks into you singing worship hymns, sees you praying, stops and shares your and their testimonies and encouragement for the road, or even hears a ‘thank you’ for their over-the-top work, you are reflecting a living Jesus.  Hupomone.  Whatever you are going through- point it to Christ and how He is using you on the journey He gave you.   So, while Tripp fights against the tumors in his head and spine, we are sharing Christ whenever we get the chance. No matter what.  Yes, it’s easier when we are on the top of the roller coaster, but how we respond to the ‘over the top’ we are in says so much more.  Not throwing a fit about not being all together on a day speaks loudly.  But it sure would be nice to wake up next to my husband, drink a cup of coffee, and watch my kids get excited to open gifts.

This year, when you think about being ‘home for Christmas’ don’t forget the One whom Christmas is all about- and how He had to leave His home to ultimately die for our sins.  Give him a home in your heart today!

Growing up in the church, it became a ritual, what you did on Sunday.  We would most often sit in the 2^nd or 3^rd row on the left side.  Still today, my family sits in pretty much the same space every Sunday.   Your church family becomes the people who sit around you, and maybe your Sunday School class.  I loved going to church, always have- mostly when I was young, to get off of the farm and away from chores, but as I grew older, it was a place of peace, sanctuary.  I didn’t really know a ‘church family’ until we had attended a church in Rock Valley for 10 years.  When Tripp began fighting cancer, we were surrounded in a way we had never known. There were families who we hardly ever associated with ganging up together to bless us with gift cards, etc.  We, in turn, blessed others who were struggling, having known what it was like.  A family of believers.

 Moving churches across town, and working for a church brought ‘family’ to a whole new level.  I work with an incredible team who treats each other as family.  We were among fellow believers who, because we were like minded in our belief of who God is, invited us in. As we faced another re-diagnosis, we were again blessed to be amongst family.  Then we had to leave for a while.

 Through a former Sunday School student who had previously moved to Memphis for Music education at Vision College, we were introduced to a church there.  The moment we walked into the doors that first Sunday morning we were embraced, enfolded and prayed over.  It was, as Pastor Keith said, “the way the body of Christ should be”. 

This evening as I was picking up the room and preparing for Sunday mentally, I had this pull on my heart that I could not wait to go back to Pioneer Church- not for any specific person, not for any specific style, but just because I needed to be filled back up. God is there, the Spirit is there!  Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”  

While being here at St. Jude, God commissioned me to bless any family that I could with the Good News of Jesus.  While comments like “God is the one who has gotten us this far” seems platonic in Northwest Iowa, a California native’s ears perked up and said, “yeah, I’ve been on the fence about that- now I think I need to (pay attention)”  Just acknowledging that God is in our lives, or wearing a hat that says “The Lord is my Strength” speaks loudly.  Those that are grasping for hope, waiting on science and doctors to heal their kids, need something to latch on to.  So we, Tripp and I, try to share about what God has done in our lives to those around us here, and it is spiritually taxing.  My heart weeps for the Holy Spirit to open eyes to see.  This work is not easy, but so very worth it! 

When we walk into Pioneer Church tomorrow, we will be able to fill our hearts back up with prayer, worship and the Word, spoken and poured into us.  While we do that daily as well in personal devotions, its not the same.  Worshiping with like-minded believers is refreshing and a balm for the soul, and it is scriptural;  Acts 2.

So if you think that you’ve got this and that you can just watch online, or your faith is strong enough- you don’t need church (defined as a fellowship of believers, not a building), you are missing out.  Worshiping with true, sold out believers will fill you up, so that you are ready to be a Christ-follower; which is, ready to do what God has called you to do.  When you try to do it on your own, you will become empty and the devil will fill that hole in a sneaky, nasty way.

Find a church wherever you are-find a family. Churches out there- be a family!

I have been at the church, in the youth department, for only 7 ½ months, and my heart is totally taken by the students I get to interact with and invest in.  I know I don’t get a lot of one-on-one time with them, (my volunteer leaders ROCK!) but when I see their name on my phone, or in the paper, social media successes, in the bulletin, or out around town- my heart weeps with joy. 

I know I would totally creep them out if I walked up to them and told them how much I love them, so I will just write it here… 😊   My pastor said this is the definition of a ‘ministry heart’, a heart that loves and you do not expect love in return.  Loving those that God has put in your path, no matter who they are, and even though it’s a job- it’s so much more than that.  It’s a kind of love that wants the best for them, to see them succeed, to see them grow in their love for Christ and His church (the people). 

I daily thank God for giving me this opportunity, praying that I never get to busy with the details to stop and just love, praying that love will be reciprocated into the world around us.  Lord, let this spark of love grow into a roaring flame!

If you feel in need of some love, love someone, and Christ will fill your love tank up!

On this Valentine’s Day, in a world so full of hate, let us seek to love, beyond romantic love.  Love that we have life, love that we get to love others, love the neighbor across the street, or across town, love your kids, your spouse, your family. If you feel in need of some love, love someone, and Christ will fill your love tank up!   I Corinthians says that any effort in live is not worth it, if there is not love.  Thank you Lord for allowing me to love these kids!

“If I speak with the tongues of mankind and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  And if I give away all my possessions to charity, and if I surrender my body so that I may ^[a]glory, but do not have love, it does me no good. Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.  It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,  it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;  it ^]keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of ^[c]prophecy, they will be done away with; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away with.  For we know in part and prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away with. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I ^[d]became a man, I did away with childish things.  For now we see in a mirror ^[e]dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I also have been fully known.  But now faith, hope, and love remain, these three; but the ^[f]greatest of these is love.”

II Corinthians 13:1-13 (NASB)