This morning the pastor spoke about Jesus sleeping in the boat when a big storm came up over the lake.  Jesus was so tired, he slept through it until his disciples woke him up, calling out to him, “Teacher, Master, Jesus, Wake up!  Do you not care about the distress we are going through; we are going to die!”  Then Jesus got up at said, “Peace, Be Still” to the storm- it stopped.  Turned around at said to his disciples, “where is your faith” and went back to sleep.   

UGH!

I whispered to Chad and said it again later in my youth leaders meeting, I want to say, “Jesus, Wake up” so He can calm our storm, He can take Tripp’s tumors away, He can heal.  Why does he not say to this storm, “Peace, go away tumors”  Why doesn’t He stop this storm?  Do we only get to acknowledge our faith after the storm is calmed?  We are supposed to acknowledge our faith while we are going through the storm, we are doing that- so He calmed the storm for his disciples, but why not for us yet?  We are waiting, most of the time, patiently for His answers, but they are just not coming yet. 

While we know the Holy Spirit is there to guide us through the storms, and to give us the strength to keep going on, sometimes we just want to yell at Jesus, and ask Him why we even have to go on this journey.  And that’s ok!  I’m learning that more and more.  And when I do yell, I know that Jesus’s shoulders are strong enough to hold my burdens, my pain.  I know that I can ‘dump’ on Him and its not just going to sit there like a pile of 2020, but when we empty ourselves out- pour out our crap, He is able to fill us back up with good stuff.  Joy, laughter, normalcy, being there for others, this can all be there in spite of the hurt, the burdens.

When Jesus calmed the storm, He went back to sleep, trusting that the men bringing Him where He needed to go would accomplish that task.  I giggle a little thinking that they may have been on a sailboat, and when Jesus calmed the storm, He may have also taken any wind out of their sails.  Even when Jesus answers our cries for help, we still need to keep working- rowing our boat to get where He wants us to go- the journey doesn’t end there. How long will God challenge us on this journey, how long will He allow Satan to keep testing us before He knows that even when He heals Tripp, we will not quit doing His work.

Knowing that Jesus is with us in the storm does make it easier, knowing that we can ask the why questions, and He still loves us, even when our faith falters, brings us immense peace- a smooth boat ride.  The boat ride of a cancer diagnosis can be smooth, it can be wavy, and suddenly a squall comes- a crisis that has to be solved; its wavy again, and smooth again for a while.  We will celebrate in the smooth, we will cry out to Jesus in the squall, and we will trust in His plan though it all, even when it would be easier to just jump off the boat.