Sometimes I get so frustrated with my husband, especially when I go out of my way to meet his needs, such as packing his lunch before work, making his coffee in the morning, just making sure he has what he needs to be successful in his day, and he isn’t thankful or responds in a way that is unkind.  My immediate response is to ‘punish’ him by withholding my heart or saying something snarky to make him feel belittled.  I know he loves me and is a good, godly man, but when we get hurt we just want to hurt back.   I know I am not alone in this, and it goes both ways in a relationship.  Why are relationships so hard?  Especially marriage?  Why can we brush off this bad attitude with others, but not those closest to us?

This morning was rough- it was one of those days.  Then I read Romans 5:8; “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”   While we were still sinners.  God does not wait for us to the perfect child of God before He chose to have Christ die for us.  Christ died for sinners, not perfect people.  God knows that we are not going to be perfect and yet he still loves us.  Yet in turn, we hold that expected opinion over those around us here on earth.  We expect them to be perfect before we love them.

The beautiful thing about love is that the more we love, the more the imperfections fall away.  One who is truly loved for who they are, and not their performance ends up performing in the way that God wants- by loving others or just loving in return.  I know it sounds a little hippy-like, but really all we need is love, unconditional love.  Love that loves in spite of hurt, frustration or disappointment.  We can be selfish and demand that we be loved the way we think we need to be loved, or we can love the way the other person needs to be loved and the natural return of love will be beautiful.

Its nice to read this, or to write it, however, overcoming my selfish desires and hurt feelings to love in spite of frustrations is easier said than done.  It takes work, it takes a daily decision to love those around us according to their own love language.  Sometimes your love actions need to be based on more than just a feeling, and that’s OK!  Those daily decisions can grow to beautiful, love-filled feelings.

Who is God calling you to love?