Is it ok to dream about what God might have in store for you?  Is it ok to have ideas and thoughts about what God’s purpose is for you?  How do you ‘wait’ on God’s purpose to be displayed while feeling like you need to do your part?

Ever since I was young, I felt called to write, I never knew what to write about, but then cancer happened.  A thing that I never dreamed would enter into my family, let alone one of my children.  My dream of writing was my place of healing, my sanctuary.  It was my way of processing my feelings.  Some like to keep their feelings to themselves, but I felt called to share them.  I also have other dreams that are in the ‘not yet’ phase of my life, such as foster care, adoption, full-time ministry, sewing, owning my own business of cooking/baking, or starting a coffee shop.  On top of all my dreams, I felt called to go back to school, for a degree that could potentially mean a major career, but is that what I want?

I learned today that I need to surrender these dreams to God, I mean seriously surrender them.  There on the trail, I sobbed, knowing that it was what I needed to do, surrender the dreams that I’ve always tried to manipulate into my life, and “see what God is doing and join Him in it” instead of asking God what I should do in the future.  You see, God wants us to live in the present, to be available to His calling for that day, not the future or the ‘could bes’ but now.  What can I do today to further God’s mission?  What can I do to build my relationship with my Savior who so desperately wants me to himself?  How can I   connect God to doing the dishes, to folding laundry (oh, I need to change that), to cooking supper for my family who doesn’t always appreciate it?  How can I further God’s mission with my spouse, with my children today?  This could be just not being exasperated with them, but to patiently serve them.  (Now, note: there is a fine line to patiently serving and knowing that they can do something themselves and are just asking because they want to be lazy.)  How I approach the situation though, the tone in my voice can be used to further God’s purpose. “If we put first things first, we get the second things thrown in, but if we put second things first, we lose both the first and the second things” -C.S. Lewis  If my relationship with God is first, the relationships that I get to have with the people around me are thrown in.  God will make straight that path.

What is God doing today?  If I seek the corners of my day with this thought in mind, I will find where He wants to work in my life, where He wants me to fulfill my purpose.  Instead of always looking toward the future or the next best thing, I need to be in the present- to take the time to listen, to love, and maybe just stop and say a prayer.  This break, this gift that I have been given to not go to a 7-4 job, but to focus on my school and my son’s treatments, is a gift that I do not want to waste.  It won’t always be like, this, it can’t always be like this, I will need to go back to work.  So in these moments where I am free to seek what God is doing today, am I?

I still have my dreams, those will never go away, but God asks us to be present with Him, and I won’t miss out on as much life if I am not always looking to the future instead of focusing on today. I need to  ^“Trust in the Lord with all (my) heart, And do not lean on (my) own understanding. In all (my) ways acknowledge Him, And He will make (my) paths straight” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NASB, emphasis mine).